Very raw and vulnerable. Thanks for sharing. I think as we continue building a more indispensable identity of who we are, and realise we don’t need to apologise for our existence, that the need to explain disappears – owning our choices is so important.
I do this a lot as well. For me, I know it stems from my childhood. I also have been actively working on just stating facts and moving on. If someone wants to know more, they will ask.
I am glad you broke this down more because you wrote about this phenomenon not that long ago (and I commented there too). For me the full stop version would sound like 'I am an ESL educator and copywriter.' For me the over-explaining comes in when I talk about my educational background and its huge shifts. 'Well I studied environmental science and policy, tried to pursue diplomacy, switched over to teaching, started and stopped a teaching license, then to copywriting, back to teaching, now a new business idea is budding, oh and I love writing and want to be an author...'
Like good Lord, no one asked! But back to Frank's point, you especially feel like you have to justify the... "incomplete" parts of the story. My family was deeply confused when I dropped the diplomacy track. My partner confused that I am stepping away from copywriting. My friends curious why I went back to teaching after burnout. Sometimes you do things for a season, and you got exactly what you needed to from it. Full stop.
Yessss exactly this!!! I hear you! There's two sides that come in when being asked. I kind of feel that it's because we show a lot of care towards the people closest to us that we feel we need to share further. But like you said, some things are seasonal and that's enough reason to close it.
I feel so compelled to respond to so many of your questions but I only occasionally make the time. The irony is that I feel like you are revealing a version of my own journey when you write about your own. Although I am sure they are very different in substance, the underlying mechanisms are parallel. And you appear to be further along. I’m still preparing final checks on the launch pad.
I’ve often felt the pressure to over explain career paths stems from the asymmetry of my path and an insecurity that I would be perceived as flaky. Short version; highlights if you will, of the over explaining drive for me. Three quarters of a mechanical engineering degree (with a deep desire to explain why I didn’t finish), professional photographer, registered nurse, IT infrastructure and level 2 desktop support, took a gap year (explanation omitted intentionally but with great restraint) and then got into videography, editing and content creation. (And a wanna be writer).
The short version: I am a tech savvy videographer/editor and creative story teller.
There is no box to check that contains all those elements. If the person I say that to doesn’t ask a follow up question, they were just being polite and were never interested in knowing in the first place.
Disclaimer. I haven’t actually tried this out yet as I am still in a relocating transition phase and haven’t been around people who don’t already know me of late. Like I said, on the launch pad. Approaching main engine start. Awaiting go for launch and countdown. But I’m suited up and strapped in.
Love your work and I’ll say again how amazed I feel that your topics resonate so much with me. Thank you.
Aaaah thank you Frank for your in-depth reflective and honest comment! This means so much more than you know 🥹 I totally hear you and feel your concern with the insecurity of appearing flaky, or how we will be perceived when over explaining our decisions or career path.
I love that you are thinking about all aspects before launching, it is so valid and I relate to the process. We just want to be fully prepared and ready before go time, and honestly, sometimes that's what we genuinely need for reassurance.
Thank you so much for sharing again and I am so glad it resonated. Cheering you on, wherever it may take you! 💫
That is the magic of her writing is making us feel seen and heard! I hear you about the 'flakey' deal. My other trigger word there is 'quitter'. It never feels good to be labeled that way, but sometimes you pick up and drop off things in seasons. Some seasons are longer than others. Or you got what you needed out of it and decided to move on. Giving ourselves more grace and permission to pivot fast will be an ongoing skill (at least for me it will).
Thank you Andi! I love this idea of things existing in seasons, it feels like a much more kinder approach and feels lighter than measuring things by permanence
Very raw and vulnerable. Thanks for sharing. I think as we continue building a more indispensable identity of who we are, and realise we don’t need to apologise for our existence, that the need to explain disappears – owning our choices is so important.
I do this a lot as well. For me, I know it stems from my childhood. I also have been actively working on just stating facts and moving on. If someone wants to know more, they will ask.
I agree and love this approach! Also love how deeply you trust yourself! Huge inspiration for me ✨
I am glad you broke this down more because you wrote about this phenomenon not that long ago (and I commented there too). For me the full stop version would sound like 'I am an ESL educator and copywriter.' For me the over-explaining comes in when I talk about my educational background and its huge shifts. 'Well I studied environmental science and policy, tried to pursue diplomacy, switched over to teaching, started and stopped a teaching license, then to copywriting, back to teaching, now a new business idea is budding, oh and I love writing and want to be an author...'
Like good Lord, no one asked! But back to Frank's point, you especially feel like you have to justify the... "incomplete" parts of the story. My family was deeply confused when I dropped the diplomacy track. My partner confused that I am stepping away from copywriting. My friends curious why I went back to teaching after burnout. Sometimes you do things for a season, and you got exactly what you needed to from it. Full stop.
Yessss exactly this!!! I hear you! There's two sides that come in when being asked. I kind of feel that it's because we show a lot of care towards the people closest to us that we feel we need to share further. But like you said, some things are seasonal and that's enough reason to close it.
Katie.
I feel so compelled to respond to so many of your questions but I only occasionally make the time. The irony is that I feel like you are revealing a version of my own journey when you write about your own. Although I am sure they are very different in substance, the underlying mechanisms are parallel. And you appear to be further along. I’m still preparing final checks on the launch pad.
I’ve often felt the pressure to over explain career paths stems from the asymmetry of my path and an insecurity that I would be perceived as flaky. Short version; highlights if you will, of the over explaining drive for me. Three quarters of a mechanical engineering degree (with a deep desire to explain why I didn’t finish), professional photographer, registered nurse, IT infrastructure and level 2 desktop support, took a gap year (explanation omitted intentionally but with great restraint) and then got into videography, editing and content creation. (And a wanna be writer).
The short version: I am a tech savvy videographer/editor and creative story teller.
There is no box to check that contains all those elements. If the person I say that to doesn’t ask a follow up question, they were just being polite and were never interested in knowing in the first place.
Disclaimer. I haven’t actually tried this out yet as I am still in a relocating transition phase and haven’t been around people who don’t already know me of late. Like I said, on the launch pad. Approaching main engine start. Awaiting go for launch and countdown. But I’m suited up and strapped in.
Love your work and I’ll say again how amazed I feel that your topics resonate so much with me. Thank you.
Aaaah thank you Frank for your in-depth reflective and honest comment! This means so much more than you know 🥹 I totally hear you and feel your concern with the insecurity of appearing flaky, or how we will be perceived when over explaining our decisions or career path.
I love that you are thinking about all aspects before launching, it is so valid and I relate to the process. We just want to be fully prepared and ready before go time, and honestly, sometimes that's what we genuinely need for reassurance.
Thank you so much for sharing again and I am so glad it resonated. Cheering you on, wherever it may take you! 💫
That is the magic of her writing is making us feel seen and heard! I hear you about the 'flakey' deal. My other trigger word there is 'quitter'. It never feels good to be labeled that way, but sometimes you pick up and drop off things in seasons. Some seasons are longer than others. Or you got what you needed out of it and decided to move on. Giving ourselves more grace and permission to pivot fast will be an ongoing skill (at least for me it will).
Thank you Andi! I love this idea of things existing in seasons, it feels like a much more kinder approach and feels lighter than measuring things by permanence